Yesterday marked radiation treatment number 22 of 33. For those of you that struggle with fractions, that's two-thirds of the way done (I'll admit yesterday I said 2/3 away from being finished... so you don't have to feel too bad... but at least I can blame it on my brain getting fried). So 11 to go is pretty sweet (radiation, and I believe Temodar, will stop after Tuesday, Feb. 1). My doctor is incredibly pleased with the way things are going so far and seems certain that the treatments are helping. However he remains cautious of what possible damage/side-effects may ultimately result from this. But we can worry about those issues if/when they arise. For now I'm just happy to have a short 3 day break from it all.
Speaking of a three day break, I have to admit, the biggest trooper throughout this ordeal is certainly not me, but instead my mother, who has to put up with me (excepting for the weeks that my dad and brother have driven me). I constantly nag her about her driving (rightfully so if you ask me), I make her play boring games of connect four with me so I can get some therapy (I don't think she minds this too much), I make her watch movies that a mother couldn't possibly like, I occasionally snap (probably a combination of me taking steroids and her talking too much) and yet, for the most part, she gets through all of these things without batting an eye. We've always had a great relationship, but often mildly abusive toward each other in a somewhat twisted way which outsiders might not appreciate... but we understand each other (plus she started it when she made me). My mom is the greatest, and I've been blessed to have her here to help me get through this. Thanks mom and love you! Also, no offense (not that I need to say this to you, but for the sake of other readers), but I'm looking forward to continuing this break from you next week while Joe gets to deal with my brain damage.
One of the coolest things I learned this week from my mother is that there are people in my family holding a sort of prayer circle where there is constantly someone in my family praying for me; each hour of the day (be it 3AM, 9PM, whenever), someone in my family is scheduled to pray for me. I have been added to prayer groups throughout the nation; my cousin sent a bulletin from her church in Texas for example, not to mention my friends in Pittsburgh. And even the waitress at Bob Evans one morning noticed my Chemo Brain shirt and told me she'd light a candle for me. I'm not one to pray often, but I do believe that there is power in prayer, and I am so grateful to have so many people that care and go through so much themselves to ask God to help.
You are all amazing. You might choose to think that I would be as strong without you, but you truly are my motivation, and I love you all for it.
Thank you Matthew! For the record, I have always gotten you there safely (even when you were about 3 and climbed out of your car seat and tried to exit the car while I was driving! I have to admit that there is only one thing I would ever truly want to change about you and that is to have this "blob" gone for good. Oh, and, I LOVE YOU MORE!
ReplyDeleteThat's probably true. :)
ReplyDeleteMatt - great words brother. I pray for you everyday and I know prayer changes things, and you have hope..lot's of it. We lifted you up in prayer last week in our small group. I pray for healing, I pray for your continued positive outlook, I pray for you to be encouraged by little things each day, I pray that as you continue to see prayers answered here and there that your love for our awesome God continues to grow each day. He is using you through this. Keep kicking butt my man.
ReplyDeleteYou are so blessed to have each other. I admire you both tremendously. I hope I am even half as strong as your mom, Matt.
ReplyDeleteIts Gretchen by the way - I keep forgetting I have that goofy nickname on my display.
ReplyDeleteHi Matt,
ReplyDeleteWe've been keeping up with you. Beautiful words about Mom. You're right. She is the best! Your poem from the other day is very inspiring--"motivating"! Those demons are everywhere aren't they? You will always recognize them though. I think you've got it, Nephew! Do muscles in your left hand and arm hurt at all? Or is it the stiff feeling especially during your exercises? You are very patient and I find myself cheering you on as you work so hard. Please keep it up. You look so good! Love you! Aunt Cathy
Matthew Albert! Sending you peace, hope and love!
ReplyDeleteI would like to express my gratitude to you, Matthew, for living with and facing the demons, for allowing them to be of benefit and assistance in the growing and transformational processes of all, for advocating love, smiles, and optimistic vision - the most potent medicines, for making the blog and making it complete with photographic imagery, personal reveries, poetry, sarcasm, humor, splendid vocabulary, silly puns, and efficacious commentary, and for offering us a tidbit of your mind and brain, as well as the neoplastic lesion. if enough people take a tidbit of the aforementioned lesion, perhaps there will be none left in your brain, and all will realize the significance of it all.
ReplyDeletepeace bro from another immediately related mother.